


Strong

by Happily_tommo87



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Best Friends, Crying, Doctors, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Harry helps louis, Hospitalization, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mention of Parent Death, Nurses, Panic Attack, Sedation, Unrequited Love, Upset Louis, harry loves Louis, hiatus one direction, johannah deakin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8930497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happily_tommo87/pseuds/Happily_tommo87
Summary: Louis has a hard time with his mother's death and has to be sedated. No one knows how to handle Louis, except for Harry. Harry helps Louis remember he is strong.





	1. Hospital.

 

Chapter One- Hospital. 

 

"Thank God you're here!"

Harry stepped off the elevator and was met with those words.

An hour earlier he had received a phone call from a surprising voice.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

"Harry, I'm so sorry, I know it's very late..." Harry rolled over and wiped at his eyes, checking the time on his digital clock. The lime green numbers read, '3:42'.

He cleared his throat and pulled back his phone, reading just a string of numbers on the screen. No one from his contact list.

"I'm sorry," he rasped to the caller, "but who is this?"

A sob escaped the woman on the phone, "Its, its Danielle, Louis' girlfriend."

Harry sat up suddenly and scrambled to turn on his lamp. "What's wrong with Louis?"

"His... I'm so sorry, I didn't want to be the one to tell you, it's his mom-" Danielle tried to explain, apologies dripping off her words.

"I'm so sorry, but, she passed away about an hour and a half ago. Johannah passed away. Louis is...he didn't handle it very well."

"Oh my god, she's... was she in pain? Was it peaceful? Who was with her? I can't believe Jay's gone!" Harry asks in disbelief.

"She didn't seem in pain. We all just thought she went to sleep. Lottie, she tried to... to wake her-" Danielle cried. She hadn't known Jay for very long, but was upset by her death none the less.

"Lottie? Is Lots okay?" Harry interrupted.

"Lottie is alright, as much as she can be. Dan was here with her and Fiz and the older twins. And Louis and myself." Danielle takes a deep breath.

"Harry, Louis though, he didn't handle it very well. We tried to keep him calm, I couldn't get him to listen to me. Lottie either, she couldn't get through to him. Lottie told me to call you... said maybe you could help." Harry waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he prompted her to.

"The doctors... they had to give him a sedative, he panicked and had a bit of a breakdown."

"He had a panic attack? So they gave him a sedative?" The man repeated her words.

"Yea, he um, really scared the girls. He threw himself on Johannah and wouldn't let go of her. Dan tried to get him off the bed and Louis tried to punch him. Then when the doctors came in he was screaming and just.... I've never seen him like this. I didn't even think he was capable of acting like that!"

"Lottie asked me to help gather the girls and get them out of there so they wouldn't see Louis like that." Danielle sniffs.

Harry sighed, and stood, cracking his back. "So they gave him a sedative? Just over that? I mean, his mum passed, of course he's going to be upset."

"They had four security guards. He tried to bite them and he was swinging left and right. They had to strap him down and it was awful. He wouldn't let me near him. Lottie tried and he was a little better for her but, he then tried to attack a nurse who was ready to release him and they had to give him a dose of... Loraza-something."

"What happened then?" Harry asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

"He... he calmed down immediately, but then they had to inta...inta-something. I'm sorry, I'm not good with all these medical terms. They had to stick a tube down his throat when he passed out to keep him breathing! They had to admit him."

Harry cradled his phone in his shoulder and walked to his closet, flicking on the light. He spoke with such conviction he knew Danielle wouldn't argue with him.

"I'm on my way."

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

"Where is he?" Harry barked, barely taking in Danielle's slumped figure in a chair, a few feet from the elevators.

"He's still sedated but the nurse said he thought he would be waking soon." Danielle explained, pulling her sweater tighter around her as she led the older man down the hall.

She stopped outside a closed door. "He's in this room. His step dad and the younger girls all left, Lottie and I are the only ones here."

Harry nodded and raised a hand to open the door, bracing himself for the unknown.

"Harry!" He heard moments before he was tackled by a short platinum blonde girl.

He sighed as he wrapped his lanky arms around her small frame. "Lots."

The tiny girl crumpled in his arms. "Please, help him. I can't and- mum would hate to see him this way. He...it's not something I know what to do!"

"I'll do whatever I can to help, Lots. Are you okay? What can I do for you, love?" Harry stroked her head as she tried to calm down.

"Just be there for him? Please? I'll be okay. I'll stay busy with the twins. And Tommy has helped so much."

"He's a good lad then in my books." Harry replied, kissing the top of her head. Lottie was the little sister Harry never had.

"I'd like to go in and see him now, if that's alright with you?" Harry gently asked.

Lottie nodded and opened her mouth before closing it. Harry raised an eyebrow, silently asking her what she was going to say.

"If he wakes up, he's going to be in a right mood. Just... don't take anything he says to heart." She warns. She turns when she hears Danielle sniffle. Quieter she says, "He told Danielle to go burn in hell and he never wanted to see her again."

Harry frowns, knowing that Louis will lash out at those he cares about most, trying to push them away so they don't see him breaking.

"I'll stay with Danielle, you go in and see him. I'm sure I'll hear if he wakes." Lottie wipes at her eye, make up long gone on her tired and tear swollen face.

Harry nods and kisses her one more time on the head before entering Louis' room.

It's a single room, with the large bed centered below a fluorescent block of lighting on the wall above Louis' head. A machine beeps measuring his heart rate along with a mechanical ventilator, helping Louis breathe. A large accordion style tube splits off of a small tube that has been strapped to his mouth, going around his head.

His eyes are closed. He's not wearing street clothes under the large cloth straps going across his chest, holding him in place should he awaken. A light sheen of sweat is covering his face and neck, his hair pieced and clumped across his forehead.

"Oh Lou... I'm so sorry love." Harry whispers as he takes a pulls up a chair next to the bed. The bed has him propped up so he's not laying flat. Harry watches as his chest raises and deflates with each whir and click of the ventilator.

Harry reaches out and gently touches his hand, afraid he will do some unknown damage simply by touching the older boy.

He looks so incredibly young. Tired and young.

Harry rests his head next to Louis's hand, his own resting still on the other boy's hand. He watches Louis' chest and hums to himself, waiting for something to happen.

He must fall asleep because suddenly he jolts awake, scaring himself as he falls from his resting place as the door scrapes open, Lottie and Danielle follows by a nurse dressed in dark pink scrubs.

"Hi, just need to check his vitals." The nurse explains as she side steps Harry. Harry scoots back, letting the nurse do her job. He stands and joins Lottie and Danielle at the end of the bed.

"Heart rate and his breathing is doing well. When he wakes we'll be able to take the endotrachial tube out, the one going down his throat. He won't be happy its in him, and his initial reaction will be to fight it, so make sure one of you comes to get us so we can extract it as quickly as possible."

The nurse pulls back a section of the blankets to reveal a clear plastic pouch that has been taped to Louis' upper thigh. The tube attached to the top of it is not seen by Harry or the girls, however it doesn't take much imagine to guess what is inside. The dark yellow liquid has filled the pouch to the point that it needs to be changed.

"I'm going to have to change his drainage bag. Should only be a moment." She explains as she steps out of the room, covering Louis up before she goes.

Harry blushes and looks to the ground. A few moments later the woman returns and pulls back the blanket again, tucking it up against Louis' pelvic bone, making sure to keep him covered up.

She clamps the tube and untwists the drainage bag, getting ready to dispose of it. Louis suddenly twitches, his unexpected movement causes the nurse to jump and let go of the bag, half of it spilling out onto Louis' thigh and blankets.

The smell of urine quickly fills the air. Lottie has her eyes covered with her hands and Danielle covers his nose, excusing herself to the hallway.

"Oh dear. I'll be back in a moment to clean this up, just need to get some new linens." The nurse explains, leaving with the half empty drainage bag in her hands.

Harry just stares at the dampness on Louis' leg, frowning at the way Louis has no idea what's just happened to himself, the urine drying on his skin.

"Well, I wouldn't expect anything less from Lou, pranking people still in his sleep." Harry chuckles, looking over to Lottie to see a watery eyed laugh escape her.

She hugs Harry and excuses herself from the room when the nurse arrives back with another orderly, a taller dark haired man.

Harry watches as the nurse quickly cleans Louis' thigh with a sterile wipe and places it on the side of the bed. She pulls off the blanket entirely, quickly covering Louis's lower half when she sees she's exposed him. She undoes the restraints across Louis' chest and motions to the other orderly the take ahold of Louis' body.

The orderly counts to three and hoists Louis onto his side, the nurse quickly covering Louis' bum as it too becomes exposed. She then folds the lower sheets in half under Louis and places new bedding onto that half of the bed. The orderly lowers Louis gently before they then switch places.

They repeat the same actions again to change the sheets. The nurse covers Louis again with the blankets and reattaches a new drainage bag. The orderly tightens the restraints on Louis, double checking that they are secure.

"How long before he wakes up?" Harry asks the nurse when the orderly has left. She continues to check Louis' IV as she answers him.

"He was given a intramuscular injection of lorazepam at 3:02 am, it was a very low dose only two milligrams, so I'd say he will be waking up in about..." She pauses to check the time, "four hours, around nine in the morning."

Harry looks at the restraints again, trying to keep calm as he speaks again. "Does he really need to be restrained the entire time then if he's not expected to wake up for another four hours?"

Lottie walks in as Harry finishes asking his question. "I'm sorry, it's hospital protocol after a patient is agitated and potentially could harm those around him."

The nurse changes the IV bag, saline solution to keep him hydrated, she explains and leaves the two to stand quietly with Louis.

"Did you want to take my car home, Lots? Get some rest? He won't be awake until around nine." Harry offers, taking his place again in the chair next to Louis.

"Oh Harry, that would be great. I need to get some real sleep. Call if he wakes earlier, yea?" Lottie kisses him then her brother on the cheek as she takes his car keys and listens to where he parked. He hands her a few quid to cover the car park fees.

Danielle pops in a few moments after Lottie leaves. She stands quietly, not really quite sure what to say to him.

Harry has never been rude to her, but he hasn't exactly gone out of his way to be sweet and loving. "So, Lottie said he won't be waking until around nine?"

Harry nods, leaning back away from Louis' sleeping form. She places a strand of hair behind her ear, tugging on her sweater again. "Did you want me to grab you something to eat? I think I'm going to go grab some coffee from the cafeteria."

He politely declines and watches as she leaves. Turning he glances over Louis' face, looking for signs that would have led to his mental breakdown over Jay's death.

There are deep dark circles underneath his eyes, a few extra worry lines across his forehead. There's a few days worth of stubble dusting his lower cheeks and chin, at least from what he could tell from around the tube attached around his face, white straps digging into the boy's cheeks.

Harry trailed his fingers over his cheek, ear and neck. Louis twitched again, causing Harry to gasp and jump back. He stayed asleep though.

"Little shit." Harry smiled, leaning back and resting his own eyes as he waited for Danielle to return.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Harry nuzzled the warm arm near his face as he drifted in and out of sleep. He was jolted out of his sleep when the soothing beeps around him suddenly went erratic, Louis' body tensing and struggling against the restraints.

Harry's eyes flew up to meet Louis's blue ones, pupils still red from hours of crying.

"Hey, hey, shhhhh, Lou, don't fight it. You're okay. You're okay." Harry quickly stood, leaning in close to Louis' face, voice smooth and calm to the boy's ears.

He looked back, seeing Danielle freeze at the sight of Louis struggling. "Go get a nurse!" He said sharply. He returned his attention to the scared boy below him.

"Shhhh, it's okay. You're in the hospital, Lou. They tell me you got a bit feisty earlier, had to give you some meds to calm down. Meds made your breathing hard to do on your own. That's what's in your throat. A tube to help you breathe. They're going to take it out, love, try not to fight it."

Harry stroked Louis' hair, trying to calm his friend. He kept repeating the words, "You're okay, you're alright Lou."

Frantic blue eyes darted around the hospital bed. Things seem to click into place as he recalled what got him here in the first place.

Tears dribble down his cheeks, watery blue eyes looking up at Harry before closing tightly.

"I know love, I know. I'm so sorry. Wish I could take some of your pain away."

Danielle walked back into the room and stayed quiet, watching as Harry wiped at his face.

A nurse entered the room moments after and positioned herself opposite Harry. She pressed a button to elevate him as she introduced herself.

"Hi Louis, I'm Stephanie. I'm going to take your breathing tube out now, alright? Don't fight it, when I count to three I need you to cough as hard as you can."

Two orderlies place themselves near by to help should Louis' attitude take a turn for the worse.

Louis tries to nod, wide eyes glancing at Harry before watching the nurse remove the strap from around his head.

The nurse counts to three and Louis coughs, eyes scrunching up in pain as the large plastic tube was pulled from his chest.

"Keep coughing, that's it, good job. All done."

Louis continued to cough, a bit of spittle coming out of his mouth and landing on his chin. He tried to wipe it off only to realized he was still strapped to the bed.

Louis tried to talk, his voice being raspier than usual. His eyes flickered to Harry before coughing and glaring at the nurse and orderlies.

"Why the bloody hell am I all tied up! Let me out of these fucking things! Unstrap me! Now!" Louis shouted, venom heavy on his tongue.

The nurse sighed and shook her head. "You need to calm down sir, you've had a lot of trauma today and just take a few deep breaths and calm down for me."

"I bloody will not fucking calm down! Don't tell me what to do! I'm going to sue you! All of you, for fucking keeping me here against my will! You're going to regret this! You and your little gremlins, you're lucky I am tied up here or else I'd be kicking your arses right into the dirt basement of this shithole!" Louis ignored the nurse's words,breathing labored as he raged.

He turned his eyes to Danielle, squinting at her as he zoned in on her presence. "I'll just be outside." She quipped, before he could yell at her some more.

"Lou, stop acting this way and the nurses can let you go. They're afraid you're going to hurt someone or yourself!" Harry chided, using his hand to wipe away the spittle from his chin.

Louis growled at Harry and tried to bite him when his hand got close to his mouth. Harry chuckles at Louis' attempt to hurt him. It only seemed to further fuel his fire however.

"I fucking hate you! I hate all of you! All of you, just go... go die! I don't care if you...die-" Louis' words were cut off by a sob that ripped through his chest, the anger dissipating quickly to be replaced by sorrow.

Harry watches as Louis let out gut wrenching howls as he mourned his mother's death. The nurses left quietly, leaving Harry to stay with him.

Harry just stays quiet while Louis lets everything he has been hiding within him for the last year. When the noises stop, Harry stands and moves closer to his friend. He grabs for a few tissues and pauses, hand raised in front of Louis' face.

"Can I help you?" Harry asks.

"No." Is the petulant response he gets from Louis.

Harry smirks and leans in to wipe off the tears, snot and saliva off of Louis' face. Louis, ever acting like a child, moves his face trying to avoid Harry's hand.

When he finishes, he watches Louis for a few moments. He doesn't know what to say to make Louis feel better. He's never lost a family member like that before, he can't say it's going to get better, or that it won't hurt one day.

He just lets Louis silently cry some more, eyes on the ceiling, mouth in a thin line as he tries to control his tears. He reaches out and grasps Lou's hand.

"I'm here for you, Lou." He finally decides to say.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

An hour later and Lottie has arrived. Louis is starting to get frustrated and snappy again, the hospital staff still refusing to let him out of the restraints.

The nurse walks in to check his vitals, seeing that everything is going along nicely. He clears his throat and tries a new tactic.

"Hello love. Think you can loosen these up for me a bit? I've got to take a wee wicked badly."

"Maybe you shouldn't have tried to bite me earlier then." She responds, pulling tightly on the strap nearest her.

Louis frowns. "I have to wee and you need to let me go to the loo!"

The nurse smiled and shook her head. "Sorry dear, you've got a condom catheter on. You can just go sitting there and it'll go into your drainage bag."

She smiles at Harry before leaving the room, Louis screaming, "WHAT? Get back here you bitch! You're an awful fucking bitch!"

His face is flushed, anger dissipating and turning into embarrassment. "Haz, can you... I have to wee so badly, I'm going to piss myself. Help, Haz!"

Harry sighs, shaking his head. "Sorry love, the nurse is right. You're too angry to be let out to go on your own. Just go. I saw the bag, it's been working for you so far."

Louis frowns and shakes his head. "You saw.... no... please, Hazza, I can't, help me to the loo!"

When Harry doesn't seem to be helping him, he sets his eyes on Lottie, mouth drawn tight as he tries to keep from crying.

"Lottie, please help me. Don't make me use that thing."

Lottie covers her face and shakes her head. "Sorry Lou. Harry, I'll be in the hallway with Danielle. I just need a few moments."

Harry nods and when he turns around he frowns, taking in Louis' scrunched up face and the way his chest is moving rapidly.

He stands and tries to stroke Louis' hair. "Love, take some deep breaths for me. I'm sorry, I know it's frustrating."

Louis tries to take a couple deep breaths. When he is able to speak again, he whispers to Harry. "Can you... lift my blanket, so I can see what you're talking about?"

Harry sighs, trying to keep the look of sadness and pity off his face. He agrees.

Louis closes his eyes, feeling the draft of the blankets being lifted up. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. He lifts his head and sees the device wrapped to his penis, the tube coming out of it and the bag attach to his left thigh.

He leans back and chokes out a sad laugh. "Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful."

Harry lowers the blanket and sits, watching the older man before him. "I could step out, if you need me to? If you want to go in privacy."

Harry sees Louis nod. He stands back up and tells him, "I'll be just outside, Lou. Shout if you need anything. I'm going to see about getting you breakfast and when they think you'll be able to leave."

Louis just lays there, silently staring at the ceiling.

When Harry leaves the room, he sees Danielle with her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. "Hey." He whispers to her, taking a seat next to her.

"You know you can't take what he says to heart when he's like this."

She sighs, "It's really tough to remember when he's screaming at me. I don't... I can't take care of him like this. Lottie had to go home, Tommy picked her up. She asked me if I could stay with Lou, until he's a bit more stable emotionally. I don't think I can do it."

Harry nods and tries to make her feel better, even though he couldn't imagine not being with a significant other under similar circumstances.

He excuses himself and makes his way to the nurses station. "Excuse me, is there any way we can get Louis Tomlinson in 228 some breakfast?"

The nurse agreed and told him someone would be in shortly. He went to go back and wait for Louis to call him in when he turned to speak with the same nurse.

"Sorry to bother you again, but do you by chance know when he will be released?"

"One moment, darling, I'll check his file to see." The woman said, clicking a few times before she seems to be scanning something with her eyes.

"Well, your friend there certainly hadn't helped himself with all the threats he's been spouting out. Looks like there's no definite time, however, in my opinion if he behaved himself he could be out early afternoon. There's no reason to keep a room occupied when Mr. Tomlinson is physically well." The nurse said, raising her eyes to meet Harry's.

"Best behavior. I mean angelic-school-boy-best-behavior."

Harry chuckled, "Not what Lou's known for, but if it means parole I think he'll try his best."

He thanked the nurse and turned walking up to Danielle just as he heard Louis voice calling his name.

He poked his head in and asked, "You all done Lou?"

When the blue eyed man didn't respond, Harry stepped into the room, concern for his wellbeing weighing more than his concern for his privacy.

Silent tears fell down Louis' cheeks, skin still flush from embarrassment. "Oh, love. Don't cry."

Harry grabbed a few tissues and cleaned up Louis' face, the older boy not meeting his eyes. "I want my mum." Louis croaked, eyes clenching shut as more hot tears flooded his cheeks, puddling in his ears as they fell.

"I know love, I wish I could help you. Your mum is watching over you, I know she is." Harry whispered, leaning in close to press a kiss to the older one's forehead.

It had been years since he felt comfortable enough to display such an intimate act, well aware that he couldn't let his own feelings take precedence over Lou's own broken heart, or the fact that his girlfriend was seven feet away.

After a few moments of Louis sniffling and Harry wiping his nose and cheeks, he tried to cheer the older one up by telling him, "Breakfast is on its way, and the nurse said if you stay on your best behavior, you could get released later today, early afternoon she said! Isn't that good to hear?"

"Sure." Louis agreed, lacking the same enthusiasm.

"Would you like to watch some telly while we wait for your food?" Harry chirped, trying to ignore Louis' nonplussed attitude.

A minor shrug could be seen from Louis' shoulders, restraints still restricting his movements.

The two sat in silence as the television advertised loo cleaners and biscuit brands. Not long after, a knock was at the door, causing the two's attention to be drawn to the door.

"Breakfast delivery!" An orderly greeted the two men, carrying a covered tray into the room. He placed it on the table that the tissue box was located and began to walk out of the room.

"Wait! Sir, can you or can you get someone to take the restraints off so he can eat?" Harry called out, following the orderly to the door.

"Sorry, I'm under strict orders not to do so." The orderly explained apologetically. He left the room, not bothering to close the door again.

Harry's shoulders dropped, turning with a glum face to Louis. "Sorry Lou, maybe they'll let you do lunch on your own."

Louis nods, dejected look on his face. Harry clears his throat and begins to pull off the tray covers. He's met with a small bowl of fruit, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, orange juice box and a cup of hot water, teabag set on the side with milk and sugar.

"Well, here's what's on the menu for today." Harry then began to list the food items, pausing to ask what he would like to try first.

"Eggs I guess. What kind of tea is it?" Louis sighs, head rolling to the side to try and catch a glimpse of the tea label.

Harry held up the small red tea bag. "At least it's your favorite. Yorkshire."

Louis huffed, "At least they have done one right thing in this hospital."

Harry chuckles and rolled the table closer, swinging the table arm over the bed and picking up the plastic fork. He takes a small bit of egg and lifts it to Louis's mouth.

Louis groans before opening his mouth and letting Harry feed him. Blue eyes widen as the contents hit Louis' tongue.

"Hotttt! Ahhh, what the fuck mate!" Louis exclaims, mouth open causing his words to be garbled. Louis finally swallows the food and glares at Harry.

"Sorry?" Harry says, voice squeaking like it's a question.

Harry tries again, blowing on the fork before placing the food in his mouth. Louis finishes half of the small pile of egg before requesting some juice. Harry opens the small carton and pops a straw in it. He leans it close to Louis' mouth and watches the thirsty boy gulp down the drink.

Louis moves his face away, silently telling Harry he was all done. Louis holds his mouth open like an baby bird, eyes on the telly that is still going. Harry shovels a piece of melon into his awaiting mouth, purposely smudging the dripping fruit over Louis' bottom lip.

"Oi!" Louis grunts, eyes narrowing at the taller man.

"Don't get used to this." Harry smirks, lifting a napkin to dab at Louis' chin.

Danielle is suddenly there, clearing his throat and startling the two men. "I can take over now, Harry, if you want a break."

Louis responds, "No, that's alright, he's doing fine." the same moment Harry stutters out a, "Sure, okay, yea."

Louis turns to look at his friend, another wave of sadness overcoming him as he hears Harry's words.

Harry stumbles, "Only because I'm sure Danielle would like some time with you. Um, I'm going to go see about getting a cup of tea for myself. I'll be right back."

He stands and glances back to see Louis looking at Danielle. She hasn't moved to where Harry was sitting.

Harry runs his hand through his hair, arm continuing out of habit past where his current hair ends. He blows out a deep breath and strides down the hallway, hitting the down arrow on the bank of elevators.

He takes his time going back to the main lobby of the hospital, having seen a cafe on his way in. He waits in line, keeping his head down in the hopes that he won't be recognized.

He pays for his tea and leans against the wall of the hallway just before he takes the elevators back up. He pulls out his phone and sees a couple of missed texts from Niall and Liam. He responds that Louis is doing better, hoping to go home today. He declines visitors, knowing that both boys are halfway across the world and Louis wouldn't want anymore people than necessary to see him this way.

He curses Louis' bullheaded attitude, his need to never appear weak to others.

He gulps down the hot liquid, ignoring the burning in his mouth. When he finishes a third of it, he hops back into the elevator. He has an uneasy feeling in his chest as he exits the lift.

A scream and cursing voice is floating down the hall, it takes two seconds for Harry to recognize the high pitched voice.

Louis.

Harry hurried down the hall to see Danielle breathing heavy just outside of Louis' room, bent over bracing her hands on her knees.

"What happened?" Harry breathed, immediate reaction that she had done something to cause Louis to react with a scream.

"I didn't put fucking milk in his stupid fucking tea." Danielle looked up at him, tired and worn. "I'm going to go back to my hotel and shower. I'll give you a ring later see how things are going."

Harry nodded, watching as Danielle wiped at her eyes as she hurried down the hallway.

Harry walked in and stopped when he saw silent sobs wracking Louis' body. "You know, your not going to have anyone left to help you if you keep acting this way..." Harry muttered.

Louis' sobs only grew, his chest heaving under the fabric restraints. "Mum would've stayed with me no matter what..." Louis cried, "I miss her so much... it's not fair. It's not fucking fair for someone so important to just get cancer and not even a year later be gone..."

Harry apologized, "I shouldn't have said that, you know I didn't mean your mum. I loved Jay like she was me own mum."

He wiped at Lou's face, noting that the tissue box was nearly empty. "I just meant you shouldn't be so cruel to Danielle. She's your girlfriend and she loves you and you're not being fair to her. She's trying to help, and be understanding and supportive since all that shit happened to you. Not everyone can deal with the wrath of 'Princess Louis'."

Louis sniffled and watches as Harry fixed his tea the way he liked, little bit of milk, no sugar.

"You're still here though." Louis argued, watching Harry's back tense.

Harry schooled his face and turned, still stirring the tea. "That's because I'm an expert at handling your mood swings. And I love you, I mean... I love all you boys, I'd do whatever you guys needed, support wise."

Louis inspected Harry's face as he brought the tea to his lips. "Thanks." He whispered taking a sip of the tea.

He cringed as he swallowed the lukewarm liquid. "S'cold."

"Well, that's not my fault. Drink it or not, either way doesn't bother me." Harry responded lifting the plastic mug up to his lips again.

Louis frowned but took a sip anyways.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Harry yawned, leaning his head onto his hand that was propped up on Louis' bed.

He could tell something was up with Louis, but so far the boy had kept quiet.

Another few minutes of the telly droning on and he heard Louis sigh for the seventh time in a matter of minutes.

"What's the problem, Lou?" He finally gave in, curiosity winning.

"Um. I have to go to the loo."

Harry blinked back at Louis, confused. They already had this discussion this morning, why was he acting like he didn't know the answer?

"Uh...so go. You have that bag thing there for a reason Lou." Harry replied, turning back to the telly.

"Harry, I have to GO to the loo." Louis emphasized, tight lipped and wide eyed.

"You have to.... OH! Oh. Um, hang on." Harry stood, hurrying to the hallway but not seeing a nurse in sight. He leaned back into the room to let Louis know.

"Harry! Hurry! I don't want to shit myself. Please, Harry, hurry, I'm gonna-I need the loo! Tell 'em I've been good! Harry-fuck! I don't want to shit myself..." Louis frantically rambled, face becoming flushed as his stomach twisted.

"Nurse! Nurse!" Harry shouted, running down the hallway.

A woman poked her head out to lean down the hall, seeing Harry running towards her she scooted around the desk and met him, letting him lead her back to Louis' room.

Once they had returned to the room, Harry explained, "Please, he's got to use the loo, he needs to be let out of the restraints!"

"I'm going to fucking shit myself is what's going to happen soon!" Louis barked, annoyance creeping into his voice.

"I can get you a bedpan to use-" the nurse suggested, turning to be met with a stormy stare from the taller man.

"No, there's no reason for him to be tied up any longer. He's been calm and cooperative. Let him have some common decency and use the toilet like an adult."

Louis squirmed beneath the restraints, a stabbing pain in his intestines making him whimper.

The nurse took pity on him and agreed. She made quick work of the restraints and moved the bed rail down so Louis could get up.

"Keep the door open." She stated, watching as Harry moved the I.V. stand around so Louis could walk to the toilet.

"Are you kidding me?!" He squawked.

"That or have someone go with you."

Harry, who had been helping Louis to the loo stopped and sighed, "Is that really necessary? He just needs to take a dump, not go off the deep end and hurt himself!"

"I'll call for help to redo your restraints if you don't want to listen..." the nurse snapped back.

"Argh! Bloody ridiculous. Can't go to the loo properly! Can't wait to get out of this place." Louis grumbled, hobbling into the loo and closing the door ninety percent of the way.

Harry sat back down and tried to ignore the sounds coming from inside the tiled bathroom. A particularly loud splash occurred causing Harry to blush, "Wonderful acoustics you have here."

The nurse chuckled and waited till Louis flushed, and washed his hands before returning. Louis looked far more comfortable, aside from the fierce blush staining his cheeks.

"Not a word, Styles." Louis said through clenched teeth.

He sat back down and raised his bare legs, tucking them under the blanket as he shivered.

Louis watched as the nurse squeezed his I.V. bag, checking her watch before asking if Louis would like the I.V. and catheter removed seeing as he could now go use the loo independently.

Louis all too quickly agreed, watching as the nurse grabbed a small bandage to cover the area where the needle was to be removed. She then clamped and unhooked the clear plastic tubing.

Louis took a deep breath as the nurse counted to three and pulled the needle out, applying pressure and securing the gauze bandage to his lower right arm.

The nurse then made to pull back his covers, chuckling as Harry quickly turned around. Louis squealed when the nurse removed the condom then swore when she ripped off the tape on his thigh, effectively removing the drainage bag.

Louis told Harry the coast was clear, hand under his now pulled back blankets, rubbing the sensitive spot where the nurse had de-haired him.

"Could have given me a warning..." Louis mumbled.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Louis was far more pleasant at lunch, eating his sandwich, peach slices and chocolate milk on his own with such ferocity one would have thought it had been days since he had eaten.

A different nurse popped in, stating a doctor would be in soon to sort out Louis' discharge papers.

Louis smiled to himself as he leaned back, arms propped behind his head. The smile dropped off quickly though as his eyes became a little watery.

"Lou, what's wrong?"

It took a moment for Louis to put his thoughts into words. "It won't feel like home." He sniffled, wiping at his eyes.

Harry gnawed on his lip, unsure of if it was his place to offer his home or not. He decided to wait and see what Danielle and Lottie said before putting his cards on the table.

"You'll get through this, it will be tough, but I know you can. You're strong."

Louis scoffed. "Don't feel very strong. Feel like I just got hit with the tourbus and then backed over again."

"It'll pass, just hang in there." Harry replied.

The two sat in silence as Louis wiped at his eyes some more. He sighed once loudly before scooting to his right. He patted the bedding and asked Harry shyly, "I would feel a lot stronger if you could lay with me."

Harry scanned Louis' facial expression before nodding and standing, shuffling to the bed and pushing the pillow behind him into a comfortable position. Louis yanked on the covers, which had been trapped beneath Harry's long legs, and draped them over his friend's lap.

Louis lay on his side, staring at Harry, who was pointedly ignoring Louis' intense stare, watching the ceiling. Louis rubbed his eye and sniffled again. He leaned forwards a bit and rested his head on Harry's bicep.

Harry whispered, "Come here, babe." Harry raised his arm and let Louis snuggle closer. When Harry lowered his arm, he rubbed Louis' hair affectionately, humming a tune, slowly sending the older man into a much needed slumber.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

"Harry..." a female voice whispered. Harry smacked his lips and leaned into the warm body in his arms. He felt a small hand poke him on the shoulder a moment later.

The tall man groaned, turning to the voice that was bothering him and opened his eyes. He jumped when he saw electric blue eyes glaring at him.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Lottie interrogated, hand propped up on her cocked hip.

"Um," Harry rasped, panicking and trying to come up with an excuse to make it not seem so...intimate. "We um... nothing's going on... just taking a kip between mates...."

His frantic words awoke Louis, the older boy stretching out like a kitten napping in sunshine. Louis nuzzled deeper into Harry's chest and growled at his sister, "What did you want, Lottie?"

She giggled at Louis' actions and the increasing redness of Harry's cheeks. "Just checking in on you. I stopped at the nurses station and they said the doctor was coming to check on you and probably release you."

She smiled at Louis and then looked at Harry. "Harry, could I maybe speak to you in the hallway?"

Harry suddenly felt like a school boy being pulled aside to be lectured by the headmaster. "Um, yea, sure, absolutely."

The tall man had to pry himself out of Louis' strong grip as the shorter one whined and pouted. "Noooooooo!" He complained.

Harry's heart soared as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Louis' head. "I'll be just in the hallway, Lou."

When Harry joined Lottie in the hallway, she was twisting her hair around one long manicured finger. He squinted at her, seeing the telltale sign of her being nervous.

"Harry, I have something to ask you, and I don't want you to feel pressured to say yes, but I really don't have any other choice. Danielle called me. She's at the airport, she had an emergency meeting in L.A., although I don't entirely believe her. Um, so, my Plan A has fallen through." Lottie explained, turning to pace a little in the hallway.

Harry stood quiet as she continued, "Well, and I'm going to be so busy helping with Pheebs and Daisy and Ernie and Doris. Dan can't help either because he's got to get all the things in order for Mum's funeral and gosh, I can't have Fizzy do it, she's just not old enough."

She looked expectantly at him, as if it was clear what she was asking of him. When Harry said, "I'm not quite sure what you're asking, Lots." She gave him a signature Tomlinson eye roll.

"Louis shouldn't be by himself. I don't have anyone else to stay with him. Would you be able to stay with him for a little bit, until he's back up on his feet?"

Harry's insides flipped left and right, this was exactly what he wanted to do. Be there for Louis, take care of him while he was down on his luck.

Harry was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't realize he had not answered. Tears sprang to Lottie's eyes, taking the older man's silence as a 'no'.

Harry was alarmed to see her reaction, suddenly unsure of what was happening. "Hey, hey, no need for tears! What's wrong? Lottie! Shhhhhhh!" Harry pulled the small girl into his arms.

She shook and tries to compose herself before saying, "I just was so hoping he could stay with you, you're the only one that knows how to handle him other than mum!"

Harry furrowed his brow, "Wait a moment, I didn't say no!"

Lottie yanked her head back to look at Harry. "Really?!" She exclaimed, hope floating up onto her face.

"Of course! I couldn't be any other place but here helping you guys. Whatever you need. It's not like I've got a job right now anyways..." Harry confessed with a smile.

Lottie surged forwards, pulling the taller man into a tight hug. "Oh thank you Harry, you have no idea what this means to us! I was so worried about what to do."

"Anything for you and Lou." Whispered Harry, nose tucked tightly into her pin straight locks.

The two stood hugging in the hallway for a few moments more, until a smirking voice made them jump.

"So. This is where you two went. Stealing Harry away from me, now are we Lots?"

Lottie's giggle made Harry's tense shoulders give way. Harry turned to see Louis, arms crossed over his chest, still only wearing the hospital issued gown.

"Come on, I'm tired of standing and bored in here on me own." Louis demanded, unfolding his arms and waving the two in. He turned and walked back to the bed, hips swaying.

"Oh Lou! Cover up!" Lottie laughed, causing Harry to look up in curiosity. As soon as he saw Louis' bum on full display, hospital gown open in the back, he forced his eyes to drop to the floor, a full blush bubbling up onto his own cheeks.

Louis cackled as he crawled back onto his bed. Louis patted the bed at the two standing, "Come on, I don't bite!"

Lottie smiled and hopped onto the bed, wiggling into the spot next to Louis towards the top of the bed. She looped their arms and rested her head on her older brother.

Harry took a seat near the end of the bed, one leg bent while the other easily touched the floor. "Louis, Niall and Li both texted me asking how you were doing. What do you want me to tell them?"

Louis thought for a moment, biting on his lip. "What do they already know? That I... I went mental and needed to be hosp... hospitalized?"

"Um, well, no real details, just that you had a panic attack and the doctors were taking precautions. No real details. They wanted to come see you-" Harry explained, being cut off by Louis shouting, "No!"

Lottie jumped next to Louis, looking to Harry with alarm in her eyes. Harry reached out, rubbing Louis' knee as he reassured him, "I told them no, I knew they would want to come see you, but I told them no. It's alright. They will want to see you when you feel up to it though, they're worried."

Louis took a deep breath and nodded. Lottie adjusted her head on his shoulder again. Harry leaned back, removing his hand from Louis' knee.

He received a quick light kick to his hip, Louis huffing while he stared pointedly at his knee, raising his eyebrows at Harry before nodding at his knee again.

Harry chuckles and began rubbing Louis' knee again. "Yes Princess Lou." He began to rub the other man's knee, smiling to himself when he heard Louis nearly purring with pleasure.

The three sat silently until they heard a knock in the doorway, all turning to see who was there.

A tall smart looking fellow with a pristine lab coat came into view. He introduced himself and pulled up Louis' file on his laptop. Louis fiddled with his hospital gown, folding and pleating the thin fabric as he nervously awaited what the doctor had to say.

"So, Louis, we need to go over a few things before I give the okay for you to be discharged." The doctor waited until Louis acknowledged him before continuing.

"You had an extreme emotional response to your late mother's passing, causing you to have what we hope was a brief anxiety attack. You had to be medicated and sedated to prevent you from harming yourself and others."

Lottie grabs Louis' hand as she sees the wetness return to his eyes. Harry sits up a little straighter, fully intent on stopping this so called doctor if he begins to upset Louis further.

The doctor clears his throat and continues, "We're going to discharge you, on a couple of conditions. You have to be monitored for the next 48 hours. Typically it is 72 hours, and they have to be at a medical facility. However, due to your... occupation, we've been advised to release you early and request that someone be with you for the next two days. Is this something that you can agree on?"

Louis looks to Lottie, seeing her dark circles and frizzy hair. He looks down at their clasped hands and tries to control his wobbling chin. He knows he can't ask Lottie to babysit him, she's been through so much too, it's not just him. He looks at the door, not quite sure where Danielle fucked off to.

Louis startles when he hears a deep, clear and confident agreement to the doctor's terms. "Yes. I'll be with him." Harry states.

Warmth floods Louis' chest, a few tear drops slipping out despite his best efforts to restrain them.

The doctor looks skeptical, "That's great that you're willing to do that, but I need for Louis to agree to that."

Louis finds himself nodding, wiping at his eyes and flicking his fringe off his face. "Yea, um, yes, I'm going to stay with Harry. He'll be with me." Louis agrees, a blush warming his cheeks as he sees Harry bite back a smile.

"Great. The next thing then is I'm going to give you a prescription for some anti anxiety medication, and a medication to help you sleep. The anxiety med, you just take it if you need it, if you feel yourself spiraling down. The sleeping one is for you to take daily for the next four days. The best way to heal is to rest, and more often than not in cases like this, the hardest part of dealing with anxiety and a traumatic event or death is at night, when you're trying to calm down and there's time to think about things."

"Do I... do I have to take them? Can't I try without first?" Louis asks, feeling young and hopeful. "I mean, I probably won't even need them."

The doctor sighs and clicks a couple buttons. "Im going to strongly suggest you fill them and then take them as prescribed."

Harry nods and turns to look at Louis. "I'll take care of it, Lou."

Louis feels his sister' hand tighten in his. He leans over to rest his head on her shoulder. He nods to Harry and turns his eyes back on the doctor.

"I would also like for you to consider seeking some sort of anxiety relief and even find someone to talk to. Something like this, of this gravity is not going to fix itself over night."

"Okay..." Louis hesitantly agrees, biting his lip and looking at Harry, noting the way he's listening to the doctor but has brought his hand back to Louis' knee, providing an unknown source of comfort to the older man.

"Alright, that's pretty much it. Your belongings are in a bag in the closet, you may go when you're ready." The doctor bids the three goodbye and is on his way.

"You alright, Lou?" Lottie asks, knowing that what the doctor suggested was not to be taken lightly.

Louis nods and fists his eye one more time. "Where'd Danielle go?"

His sister's blue eyes widen and dart to Harry, he sees her stalling. She opens her mouth and looks quite unsure of what to say.

"She took off, huh." He says, pulling his leg away from Harry and turning in the bed to stand up.

"Sorry, Lou." Harry gently responds, standing up next to his shorter friend and making his way to the small closet. He pulls out a clear drawstring bag that holds all that Louis walked into the hospital with.

He places it on the bed and waits to see what Louis wants to do. "Guess I'll get dressed." Louis announced to the two, taking the bag and walking into the bathroom. He leaves the door a crack open and Harry sighs a breath of relief. He really didn't want to half to be the one to remind Louis of his required monitoring.

When Louis is done getting dressed, he pushes the door back open and slides his fingers through his hair. "Can we get some real food on our way home?" He asks, looking at Harry for approval.

Harry drapes his arm over the other man's shoulders, raising his other arm for Lottie to tuck herself under.

"Sure Lou."


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-read this and decided to change a few bits and cleaned up some typos.

Strong: Home

"Okay so, not much has changed since you were here last. I moved your tea supply though, it's um, over here on this shelf now." Harry explains, opening a cabinet to the far left, where Harry's plates once were held.

Louis stays silent as he steps closer to look in the cabinet. He gives a sad smile to the older boy, pushing his fringe further under his hood.

"You listened to me."

Harry closes the cabinet, not yet facing the older man. He lets his arms drop limply to his sides before responding, "Yes well, as much as I enjoyed watching you climb the counters to reach your bloody tea, I didn't want you to fall and break that skinny neck of yours."

When he turns around Harry is wearing a wry smirk and chuckles when he sees Louis glaring at him.

Louis's blue eyes get impossibly smaller before he turns, toeing off his shoes, leaving them where they land before shouting over his shoulder, "Make me a cuppa, would you?"

Harry watches as Louis makes himself at home, after tripping on the step down to the sunken living room and cursing like a sailor. He finally settles down on the couch in his old usual spot.

"Oi! What the bloody hell is this shit here?" Louis calls from the couch.

Harry ignores him as he puts the kettle on the burner. He turns on a lamp behind the couch, when Louis' scrunched face is illuminated, he asks, "What's the problem, Lou?"

"Whys my seat all dented wonky like?" Louis demands, elbowing the cushions behind him hotly.

Harry blushes, responding "Well that's because it's where I sit and have been sitting for the past couple years since you've not been around."

Louis' mouth drops open, "You... you've stolen MY seat?!" He exclaims, dramatically clutching his chest as his voice goes up a notch when he says, 'my'.

Harry shrugs and pulls the coffee table closer to the couch. Louis pouts and lifts his legs, letting his socked toes wiggle as he gets comfy. He slides his hand down the side of the couch where he knows Harry constantly leaves the remotes.

Harry smiles and turns back to the kitchen, hearing the high pitched whistle of the tea kettle being done. He pulls it off the burner and pours the boiling water over a bag of Yorkshire tea. He adds a bit of milk and stirs it, lifting it carefully to carry it with two hands to the living room.

When he sets the tea down on the coffee table, he notices Louis' eyes are closed. He debates letting him stay asleep, but knows from years of traveling together that it's best for Louis to stay awake, regardless of exhaustion, until a reasonable hour for bedtime hits.

Four o'clock in the afternoon does not count.

"Louis, wake up, tea's ready." Harry whispers, gently tugging on the older man's shoulder.

Louis snuffles awake, pushing the hood off his head and running his fingers through his hair. He gives up and reaches out for his tea, taking a sip before thanking Harry.

"So, I'll get the guest room ready for you. Will you be alright down here? Maybe give Lots a call to let her know you're settled in a bit?" Harry asks, hands shoved into his impossibly tight jean pockets.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Yes, Mu-" his voice breaks, stopping mid-sentence. "I'll be fine." He finishes, whispering as his eyes suddenly become very interested in his tea.

"Lou..." Harry begins, making to sit next to Louis.

Louis pulls his sleeve down over his hand and wipes at his eye. "I'm going to give Lottie a quick call. After, you think I can take a shower and borrow some clothes? I smell like that bloody hospital."

"Of course, Lou. Absolutely. I'll be back in a few." Harry quickly made his way through the foyer and up the stairs to the second floor. He passed his own bedroom and went two doors further down. He opened the door and flicked on the overhead light. He pulled back the clean bedsheets and fixed a few pillows. Harry stepped back looking at his guest bedroom before turning to enter the ensuite bathroom.

He opened the linen closet and stacked a few towels by the sink, opening the shower curtain to peek inside and make sure there was soap and shampoo available for Louis to use.

When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he pauses. He hears a funny noise, something of a cross between a gasp and a quiet gurgling noise.

Harry quietly creeps into the living room. He sees Louis, cellphone in hand against his ear while his other hand is grasping tightly at his mouth. Tears stream down his cheeks, collecting along the top ridge of his hand, pooling with his runny nose.

Another sob leaks out of his mouth. Louis clenches his eyes shut, trying his hardest to keep his noises to a minimum. He pulls away his hand, mouth pressed tightly in a straight thin line.

"Okay, Lottie. I love you too. I'll talk to you soon."

When he ends the call and lets his phone drop into his lap, he brings his knees up to chest, grabbing at his legs. His fingertips turn white, his breathing become erratic as he tries to contain himself.

Harry steps forward and kneels on the ground next to the older man. "Louis," is all he can get out before he has a lap full of the man.

"Hey," Harry begins, rubbing his hand in small tight circles on Louis' back, "it's going to be alright. I'm right here. You don't have to deal with this on your own. I'm so sorry this happened, baby. You have to breathe for me though."

Harry pulls back a tiny bit, brushing the shorter man's fringe off his forehead, the oily hair clumping and sticking up at odd angles.

"C'mon, Lou, take a deep breath for me. That's it," Harry guides, taking a deep breath himself for Louis to mimic.

Harry cradles Louis' head against his neck, feeling the small huffs leave the older man's mouth, a bit of saliva and tears mixing together. He ignores the wet feeling and continues to stroke Louis' damp hair.

Harry slides from his knees to his bum and pulls Louis further off the couch onto his lap. It doesn't look like a comfortable position for either of them, a tangled Rubik's cube of knees and elbows.

It takes Louis a good ten minutes before he's calmed down enough to pull away from Harry. He sheepishly wipes at his eyes and rubs his nose along his shirt sleeve. He mumbles out an apology and slides off Harry and onto the carpet next to him.

"Lou, it's not a problem. Whatever you need to get better, if I can help in some way, you know I'll do it. It's going to take time. There's going to be lots of ups and downs." Harry speaks softly, reaching out to take both of Louis' hands into his own.

He rubs his thumbs over the backs of Louis' hands and gives them a tight squeeze. "What would you like to do? Did you still want to shower? Or maybe just take a nap?"

Louis contemplates his options, he's so very tired. He wishes he could take a short kip, but knows it would be impossible unless Harry were to lay down with him. It's early afternoon though, surely Harry has things he's like to get done before the day is through.

"I'll t-take a shower." He mumbles, voice catching as he tries to speak, clearing his throat and trying to stand up.

"Hey, Lou, I'm not rushing you, I don't mind sitting a bit longer if you feel you need to. Take your time, really!" Harry helps Louis to his feet, reaching out to the older boy when he stumbles.

The two walk up the stairs, Louis leaning heavily on Harry's torso. He stumbles again over the last step and lands on his knees, Harry not being quick enough to catch him on the carpeted stairs.

A few tears escape from the clenched blue eyes. Harry kneels down and wipes them away. "Come on, Lou, it's alright. Lets go. Just a bit further."

Louis nods and lets Harry lead him the rest of the way. Harry has Louis sit on the covered toilet seat and leans against the wall next to it as Harry sets about getting the water run and gets the right temperature.

Louis' eyes are closed when the taller man turns back. Harry sighs and squats down in front of him. "Lou, wake up, love."

Louis jumps awake, startled by the hand Harry placed on his knee. "I'm awake!" He grumbles, shaking his head to help wake himself up.

"Lou, I really think you should sleep first. Will you be able to stay awake in the shower?" Harry smiles up at Louis as he sees a pout form on the other man's lips.

"Yes," he begins, defiantly, "I'll be fine, Haz."

"Alright, I'll be in my room if you need me. I'm going to grab some clothes for you to borrow. I'll leave them on the counter for you, sound good?" Harry grips Louis' shoulder, standing and squeezing once before he lets go.

Louis nods and stands up. He begins to pull on the sleeve of his hoodie. Harry makes his way out of the bathroom, eyes catching on the sliver of skin that is shown when Louis pulls on his other sleeve to escape the antiseptic scent of hospital.

Harry takes a deep breath when he reaches the hall, having closed the bathroom door almost the entire way, enough of a crack left open so that he could hear if Louis shouts for him.

He runs his fingers through his shorter hair, still not used to the length. He checks his phone, seeing a text from his mom asking about how Louis is doing.

He responds to her and makes his way to his closet, flicking on the light as he begins to browse his clothes.

He finds a soft black tshirt and a pair of dark grey joggers. Louis will have to roll the bottoms up, but he'd have to do that with anything of Harry's.

The green eyed man smiles at that thought and lets his thoughts wander for a moment, thinking about bunks shared for communal clothing and how much Louis complained whenever Harry would have a growth spurt.

About fifteen minutes have passed, and Harry estimates that Louis will be getting out of the shower soon. He listens for a moment on the opposite side of the door. He hears the shower still running. "Should be safe to go in..." he whispers to himself.

Harry pushes open the door quietly, not wanting to startle the showering man. Harry refolds the joggers as he enters the bathroom, eyes on the fabric in his hands.

He nearly trips over Louis, who is sitting on the floor with his clothed knees pulled up tight against his shaking naked chest.

Harry tries to stay calm, knowing that Louis is going through a lot at this time. He kneels down next to the boy. "Louis?"

When Louis lifts his head, Harry is met with red swollen eyes and flushed wet cheeks. Louis' lips are pressed tightly together, his telltale sign that he's trying desperately not to cry.

"I just want my mum. Why...why'd she have to get cancer? She was...she was me best friend." Louis whispers, his fingers grasping tightly at the skin around his elbows. Angry red marks appear as he repeats his actions.

Harry attention is immediately drawn to the way Louis is scraping at his arms and places the clothing on the floor next to Louis. He reaches out to stop Louis' hands from hurting himself. He keeps his hands on the other boy's arms, rubbing away the marks.

"I know you do, Lou. I wish I had something to give you to help take away the pain. But I knew Jay, and she would not have wanted to see you this way. You were the light of her life. She was so proud of absolutely everything you did." Harry hugs Louis, laughing a bit as he says his next sentence, "I bet she was the kind of mum to always keep all your good grades and macaroni picture frames, huh?"

Louis huffs out a wet laugh, shifting his body ever so slightly into the taller man’s chest. "Yes, I never understood why she'd want something that looked like I threw up glitter and spaghetti onto a cardboard frame."

Harry wipes at his own eyes, pulling Louis into his arms to give a half hug half cuddle. "She was so very proud of you, Lou. Even in your less than shining moments, you were her everything."

Louis nods against Harry's chest, taking a deep calming breath. He sniffles uncontrollably and looks down at Harry's button up. "I've gone and ruined your shirt, Haz."

"Don't really care."

Louis looks up at Harry as the younger man smiles down at him. "You're the best, Haz."

Harry blushes and pulls back a bit. "Doesn't mean I won't send you my dry cleaning bill."

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes teasingly at Harry's arms. Harry chuckles and lets go of the other man some space. He reaches up and turns off the shower.

"No sense in wasting water. Fish are thirsty and all that." Harry explains, seeing Louis raise one eyebrow in confusion.

"Um, I don't really feel up to showering. Um, would you mind running a bath? And maybe um, staying close by to keep me company? Don't really want to be alone... I don't like where me heads been going when I'm alone." Louis asks, his cheeks, neck and upper chest flushing under Harry's scrutiny. He feels stupid over his insecurities and he can't bare to look at Harry to see his response.

"Course, Lou. Anything, I meant it." Harry replies, running his hand over the smaller man's long hair.

"Think I should cut it?" Louis asks as Harry reaches out to plug the tub and turns the water on, testing out the temperature with his fingertips.

"If you want to, I can get Lou to stop over in a couple days if you want." Harry says, turning to reach under his sink cabinet and sifting through its contents.

He pulls out a purple bath bomb and unwraps it. He drops it into the water and watches as it fizzes and rolls about in the water, getting stuck under the water pouring out of the tap.

"Can you have her come before Saturday?" Louis asks, wiping under his nose with the top of his knee.

"I would think so, why, what's going on Saturday?" Harry asks, turning off the water and swirling his hand around the bubbly purple tinted water.

Louis stands up and pushes down his joggers, the fabric bunching around his ankles. Harry watches Louis' bare feet step on the edges of the sweatpants to free his feet. The older man steps closer and Harry holds out his hand to help Louis lower himself into the tub.

"I'm meant to be performing on The X Factor finale." Louis states, closing his eyes as he sinks deeper under the warm water.

"Performing? Performing what?" Harry asks, eyebrows furrowing as he scratches at the back of his neck.

"My new single! I recorded it with Steve Aoki. I guess, um, I didn't tell you about that?" Louis looks up at Harry with guilty eyes.

Harry gives a wry smile and shakes his head. "No, I suppose you didn't. I knew you were messing around in the studio with him, Niall told me that much. Just didn't know anything came of it."

"Yea, I ended up with something cool. Least I thought it was cool and so did Steve and Niall." Louis admits, sinking lower so his lips are submerged under the warm water.

Harry stays silent and watches Louis blow bubbles in the water. After a few moments have passed, Harry quietly asks, "Niall heard your song?"

Louis inhales instead of exhales, taking in water unexpectedly. He gasps and sputters, sitting up as he tries to regain control over his breathing.

Water trickles down Louis' chest, but Harry's eyes can't seem to look anywhere lower than his "It is what it is" tattoo.

"I- um, I... oh fuck it." Louis rambles before he takes a deep breath and goes under the water.

Harry watches as bubbles rise up and pop along the surface of the tinged water. Louis stays under for nearly 50 seconds. Harry waits until he stops seeing the bubbles before he reaches in the water and pulls Louis up by his hair. Louis gasps and frantically wipes at his face, bubbles and water sticking to his sparse beard.

"Louis! Don't be daft. You're not going to drown yourself just because you let Niall hear your song before I did. You...you're still planning on singing Saturday then?" Harry asks, swiping the older boy's fringe off his forehead.

Louis is quiet, watching the colors swirl around him in the bathtub. He curls his hand into a first and wipes the back of it across his mouth. He meets Harry's questioning gaze and whispers, "I think I have to. For me Mum, she was supposed to have been there."

"Then you do it. I'll be there. If...if you want me to. If you don't, it's fine, I won't be hurt or anything--" Harry begins to ramble, being cut off by a wet Louis hugging him around the neck. Harry is caught off guard and loses his balance for a moment, elbows sinking into the bath water before he rights himself.

"I take it as you wouldn't mind me being there?" Harry chuckles, pressing his dry cheek to Louis' damp one.

Louis grips tighter at Harry, whispering a ragged, "Please."

"Of course, Lou. Anything."

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

"No, I know." A few moments pass and Harry sighs into the iPhone.

"I get that, Li, but I'm not going to force him to do something he obviously doesn't want. That's not right, and I wouldn't ask that of any of you." Harry finishes sternly.

He chuckles at Liam's attempt to convince him otherwise. He looks over his shoulder, seeing Louis snuggle under the deep plum covers of his bed.

"It's not happening Li. He's not ready. I'll tell you what though, I think he'd really like the support Saturday. Can you give Niall a call and tell him about it?" Harry sits on the edge of his bed. He runs a hand over Louis' sleeping form. He should probably wake up soon and eat something, it's been near twelve hours of him taking refuge under Harry's blankets.

Something that Liam says catches his attention. "No."

More of Liam trying to argue.

"No, I don't think you should call him. It killed Lou when he left, without a fucking word to him. Liam, don't." Harry begs, back stiffening with his words.

He feels Louis stirring under his hand, and turns to watch the older boy fully awaken.

It was always his favorite thing to watch.

"Li, I've got to go. Lou is waking up, but don't do it, alright?" Harry hears half of an agreement before he ends the call.

A smile plays on his lips as Louis raises his arms over his head and stretches, face scrunching and back arching.

"You look like a kitten." Harry says in greeting to the sleepy man before him. Louis makes a face and Harry chuckles.

"An angry kitten." He amends.

"Fook off." Louis replies, his accent heavy, laced with sleep. A smile creeps onto his lips despite his best efforts to continue looking pissed off.

Louis lowers his arms and snuggles under the body heated blankets that smell of Harry; warmth, sunshine, safety, and a hint of mint.

"Who were you telling 'don't do it' to?" Louis asks curiously.

"Liam. He's being a nudge about wanting to come and see you, you know how he gets. He's in full 'Mother Hen Liam' mode." Harry lies uneasily. He picks at his blanket and averts his eyes to avoid Louis noticing.

Louis, however, is far too caught up in his own worries. He begins to grasp the blankets tightly in his fists. His slow breathes become more ragged and uneven.

"Do...d-do you th-think he'll li-li-listen?" The older boy stutters, biting worryingly at his bottom lip.

When Harry notices the state Louis has gotten himself in over his lie, he moves further up the bed and begins to unwind the blankets from the other man's fingers.

He quickly tries to reassure his friend. "No, hey, hey, it's alright, don't worry. He knows I meant business. He trusts that I'm taking care of you. I mean, I'm sure he'd rather see for himself that you're okay, but he's got to take my word for it. No worries, Lou."

Louis can't seem to calm down though, he’s fighting against Harry's hands, his legs are kicking out, blankets tangling in them, causing a mewl of frustration and panic to escape the blue eyed singer.

"Hey, hey, shhhhhh, Lou, it's alright." Harry repeats while he stands up. He pulls the blankets off of Louis and loses his own composure for a moment as he watches Louis scramble to pull his legs up to his chest, hiding his face in his knees at the top of the bed.

"Louis." Harry calmly calls out, placing a gentle but reassuring hand on Louis' neck.

Louis still jumps and retracts from Harry, eyes lost as fear takes over his emotions.

Harry frowns and steps back, giving Louis a moment to fight it out on his own before he can't do it anymore and climbs up to sit on his pillows with the frightened boy.

Louis pushes at Harry's arms as he envelopes him in a hug. Louis is powerless as the taller man pulls him into his lap. "Baby, baby, stop. Breathe. I've got you, Lou. I've got you. Breathe for me, love."

Harry has Louis pressed into his own chest, the smaller one's ear pressing hard against his heart. He rocks his own body, causing Louis to go with him as he finally begins to take shuddering breaths.

This is when the tears come.

Louis quickly begins to grapple at Harry's tshirt around his back, as he struggles to keep his emotions in check. "Let it out, babe." Harry whispers, unlocking the gates to Louis' dam.

A gurgling sob slips out, follows by a gasp.

Then the tears come. Buckets and buckets of hot tears.

Louis' soaking Harry's shirt, he knows it, but just can't stop. He rubs his cheeks and nose against the soft cotton, blubbering out half spoken apologies. "Sorr- Haz- I- can- 't st- -ahp- so- sorr- don- wan-"

Harry hushes him, peppering kisses all over the top of his head. "I know, it's okay, let it all out Lou, let it all out."

Louis works on calming down for nearly fifteen more minutes. Harry looks down, tucking his chin in to get a glimpse of Louis' face. His breathing has evened out, but he's awake.

"Are you hungry? Want me to get you something to eat?" He gently asks.

Louis sits up and pouts, rubbing at his swollen eyes. "Don't want your rabbit food."

"I beg your pardon, Louis, I do not have rabbit food!" Harry fakes a gasp, pulling back from Louis with a look of disbelief.

"You do," Louis argues, a smile barely playing at his lips, "I bet you have at least six different vegetables in your fridge, not including kale and spinach."

Harry harrumphs and leans back against his headboard. "Just because I like to eat healthy doesn't mean it's rabbit food. It's... it's Harry food."

Louis rolls his eyes and blinks petulantly.

"Would you like Domino's?"

Louis tries his best to give a cheeky smile. Louis begins, "Can you order a cheese, ham, pepperoni-" A leftover sniffle comes out of him surprising the older boy as he tries to tell Harry his topping preferences. He blushes and wipes at his nose. Louis nods when Harry finishes for him. "And jalapeños, I remember Lou."

Louis watches as Harry logs into the Domino's UK website and submits their order. "It will be here in 40 minutes. Lets get you some water to drink, you've got to be getting dehydrated and must have a headache by now."

Louis nods and leans back into Harry, hugging him for no apparent reason. Harry smiles and just lets him. After a couple moments he pulls away.

"I'll meet you downstairs, okay? Just going to use the loo real quick." Harry explains.

Louis nods, pausing to ask, "Can I borrow a jumper of yours? I'm a bit chilly."

Harry nods and points to his closet. "Absolutely. Take your pick."

Louis flicks on the light and watches as the fluorescent bulbs come to life, illuminating the large walk in closet. He avoids his own reflection in the mirror as he fingers through the soft fabrics.

He stops on a light gray jumper, scoop neckline and long sleeves. He yanks it off the hanger and pulls it on over his black tshirt. He lifts the sleeves up to his nose and breathes deeply. There's that faint hint of mint again.

When Louis reaches the bottom of the stairs he makes his way to the living room, figuring Harry will most likely look there first for him. He means to make his way to the couch when a picture, framed and on the wall next to Harry's entertainment system, catches his eye.

It's a younger him, a younger Harry and his own mum all clutching each other, grinning widely at the camera, heads all pressed together.

Louis takes the frame off the wall, and looks at it closely, examining every detail of his mother's face. He touches the glass over her warm smile and mirrors her expression.

Harry fits his chin over Louis shoulder, smiling at the photograph in Louis' hands. Louis jumps a bit as he feels Harry wrap his long arms around his middle.

"That was the day we became a band. Best day of my life. Beginning of our friendship." Harry whispers, nuzzling in closer.

Louis runs his fingertips over the glass again, his lips are pulled tight. He's distracted by Harry's fingertips running over his chin and right cheek.

"Don't cry, love." He whispers into Louis' neck.

"I'm not." Louis huffs, sniffling shortly after. He catches Harry's eye and rolls his own, wiping at them and laughing wetly.

Louis whines, "Stop, you're making me get all weepy. I hate being weepy."

Harry chuckles lowly and wraps the smaller man up in his lanky arms. "But you're so cute when you're all weepy. You get all clingy and what not!"

Louis growls and tries to push away the other man's arms. Louis is unsuccessful and squeals a bit as Harry laughs louder, and picks him up, bracing his hands under Louis' thighs.

"To the couch to cuddle before the pizza arrives!" Harry shouts, heading towards the couch before swinging his body around and positioning himself horizontally. Louis plunks down right on top of Harry, laughing as Harry dramatically wiggles about, rubbing his face and limbs over the older boy.

"Harry! You're-ack! Going to drop me! Be careful, you giant oaf!" Louis squawks, clinging to the back of the couch.

The two settle down and just lay there, Louis thinking about his life now and listening to Harry's heartbeat rhythmically below him.

Harry traces random shapes on Louis' back as he tries to keep himself from giving into the urge to press kisses all over the top of Louis' face, especially when he scrunched up his button nose to try to prevent himself from crying again.

A buzz could be heard throughout the main floor. "Lou, you awake? That's the pizza, I've got to get up to let them through the gate."

Harry gently tilts his chin to see what Louis is doing. Harry lifts his hand up and rubs it over Louis' back.

"Lou? You awake?" He asks again.

Louis jumps and raises his head, leaning back while bracing his arms on either side of Harry's head. "Huh?" He asks, looking lost in his own thoughts.

"I heard the front gate buzz, I'm pretty sure that's the pizza. Can you get up for a moment?" Harry answers, running a hand over Louis' left arm.

Louis blushes and nods, moving off of Harry's body. He runs his hands over his face as Harry makes his way to the door.

Harry presses the intercom button and asks who it is. Louis barely hears the crackly voice respond and pulls at his hair.

When Harry returns to the living room he steps down and turns, expecting to see Louis laying on the couch, waiting for Harry to hand feed him.

Except, when Harry moves the pizza box to the side, Louis' body is not anywhere to be found.

He places the pizza on the coffee table and calls out for the other man.

When he gets no answer in return, he checks the kitchen; thinking maybe he went in there to grab a couple of drinks.

His kitchen is spotless, a sure sign that Louis never set foot in it. "Hmmm, that's odd." He says to himself.

Harry wanders the main floor, the dining room, music room and office. They’re empty as well. He passes a closed bathroom door and continues on. He backtracks as he hears a heaving sound.

Harry leans against the door and listens for a moment. "Louis? You okay in there?"

A raspy, "I'm fine. Be out in a moment!" filters out into the hallway. Harry frowns.

A good two minutes goes by and Louis has yet to show his face. Harry knocks on the door and doesn't hear anything.  He knocks again and tries the handle.

"Louis?" He calls out as he pushes the door open.

"No!"

Harry jumps at Louis voice, the high pitched sound laced with fear and crackly, like he had been swallowing shards of glass.

"Louis," Harry begins, trying his best to calm himself and not make his best friend fly to the defensive.

"I need for you to let me in, I want to make sure that you're alright."

"I'm fine! I'll be right there, I'm just, just finishing up here. You don't need to come in." Louis quickly jumps to explain.

Harry hears a retching sound and gives up giving Louis' words the benefit of the doubt. He pushes his bathroom door open slowly, and blinks.

It's pitch black in here.

He reaches out to turn on the bathroom switch and squints when bright florescent light overwhelms his senses, blinding him for a moment.

He wipes at his eyes and when his vision clears, he sees Louis, resting his left cheek on the toilet seat. His eyes are closed and skin sparkling with perspiration.

"Oh Lou..." Harry takes a few steps towards his crumpled friend, squatting and running a hand on his forehead, causing his fringe to stick up at odd angles.

Harry flushes the toilet and helps Louis sit up more. As often as his bathroom is cleaned, he'd rather not have his best friend's face near the receptacle of bodily function waste.

"Louis, what happened? You were okay just a moment ago." Harry asks, pulling the older man against his chest, tucking his legs around to prop up the weak body.

Louis falls against him willingly, shaking. He's silent, aside from the occasional groan that escapes his chapped lips.

Harry runs his fingers through Louis' sweat dampened hair. Louis nuzzles against the younger man's neck, he takes a deep breath before he begins to speak.

"I'm... I'm not sure. I've never felt that way before. I just... I felt like my heart was beating all irregularly... and I couldn't catch my breath. Then all the sudden I got nauseous and dizzy."

He curls into the taller man. He closes his eyes when he feels Harry press his lips against the top of his head.

“C’mon,” Harry whispers, “let’s get you back to the couch. Can you make it there, love?”

The smaller man answers silently, nodding against the other’s chest. Louis slides off of Harry’s lap and to the floor. He stays on his hands and knees as Harry rises and watches him. He gives himself a small shake before attempting to stand up. He stumbles, but gives a small smile when he feels his best friend’s hands under his arm, hauling him up with ease.

Warm arms wrap around his waist, and Louis begins to walk, following Harry’s lead to the couch. The pizza box sits on the coffee table, untouched. Louis sniffles and begins to apologize. “‘M sorry, Harry, the pizza is probably cold cause of me. ‘M sorry.”

“Nonsense, nothing that can’t be fixed. Don’t worry about it, Lou.” Harry brushes off Louis’ words as he helps him sit down. “Let me go get you some water, I’ll be back in just a moment.”

Louis’ eyes follow as Harry rises and makes his way into the kitchen. He listens to the cupboard being opened and the tap running. Harry reappears with a clear glass full of water, spilling a bit as he steps back down into the sunken living room.

“Here, have a sip before I spill even more.” Harry grins, holding out the glass. Louis tries to return the smile, and reaches for the glass. His hands are shaking, bad enough that Harry notices within seconds and pulls back on the glass.

“How about I help you?” He offers, giving Louis a now saddened smile. Louis focuses on his hands, turning them over to peer down at the palms. He frowns and nods, meeting Harry’s hands as he sits and raises the glass to Louis’ dry lips.

Louis takes a few sips before he pulls back, a few water droplets landing on his lap. He wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand and pouts at his friend. “I hate water.”

Harry chuckles, “Of course you do, Lou, waters good for you. So naturally you’ll have a distaste for it.”

Louis pouts even further before he turns his head, lips tight in a flat line.

Harry speaks softly, so as to not put Louis on the defensive, “Hey, please drink some more water, you just vomited up most of what you’ve eaten and drank probably in the last 24 hours. I want to keep you healthy, please drink some more.”

The blue eyed man ignores the other one’s words, his own eyes focusing on his lap instead of the large green ones he knows are directed at him. His resolve breaks when he hears a quiet plea, “For me, Lou? Will you please do it for me?”

Louis sighs and doesn’t even give it a second thought. He nods and lets Harry give him some more water. The younger man doesn’t stop until half of the water is gone.

Louis coughs a few times before pulling his legs up underneath him. “Can we eat now? ‘M starvin’.”

Harry nods and reaches for the box, opening up the lid and pulling out a slice to hand to Louis. The smaller man thanks him and begins to nibble on the tail of the pizza, his ministrations becoming more rapid as he inhales the slice.

Harry laughs as he watches, “Hey! Slow down there, you’re going to end up choking on a jalapeño!”

Louis smiles back at Harry and just holds his hand out for a second slice as he begins to devour the crust. Harry is quick to respond, pulling out another piece of the cooled pizza and handing it over. He watches as Louis packs the food in, his pale cheeks become round and chipmunk-like as he continues to eat.

He gets his own piece as he sees Louis is doing well and leans back against the cushion to Louis’ right.

Munching noises are the only sounds as the two eat through an entire pizza pie, Harry finishing far sooner than Louis.

“Feel better?” Harry asks as he begins to clean up, standing up to bring the empty box to the rubbish bin outside.

“Define better… not so shaky anymore? Yes. Full to the point of feeling sick? Yes as well.” Louis leans back, rubbing his belly through Harry’s jumper.

“Done me job then.” Harry states with a pleased grin, leaving the living room and Louis to his own thoughts.

Louis turns to his side and nestles against a pillow, waiting his friend’s return. “Hey Lou, its getting late. Did you want to put on a film or would you rather head to bed? I set you up in the guest bedroom closest to me, if that's alright.”

Louis thinks for a moment, snagging his front teeth on his bottom lip. He silently weighs his options. He’s not quite tired enough to head to bed, but Harry looks exhausted. Not being ready to sleep means his mind wandering, possibly going back to a dark place and no distractions if he’s on his own.

“Can we watch something? Just for a little bit, I know you’re tired and all but… I just am a bit nervous to be on me own if I’m not passed out.” Louis asks, pulling the sleeves of Harry’s borrowed jumper over his fists, playing with the soft grey material.

“Sure, Lou, its not a problem. Whatever I can do to help you, I’ll do it.” Harry explains, leaning forward to flick the telly on.

Louis' fingers twist into the soft fabric of his jumper. His eyes dart sideways as he watches Harry recline near him, propping his now boot-free feet on the coffee table.

Louis hesitates for a moment before turning and curling up under Harry's raised arm. He rests his head on the taller man's chest and sighs, feeling a bit better as he soaks up Harry's zen-like aura.

He blinks sleepily as his eyes flutter across the telly, watching but not really seeing what was happening on the screen. Louis hums in appreciation as he feels Harry's fingers thread into his long locks. He nuzzles against Harry's chest when Harry's nails scrape against his scalp.

"You're going to put me to sleep." Louis mumbles, taking a deep breath, inhaling Harry's sweet scent.

Harry chuckles, "That's the plan, love." Moments later Louis's eyes close and stay closed, his breathing becoming deeper and more steady.

Harry presses a kiss to the crown of Louis' head, giving a sad smile as he snuggles in a bit more to watch the telly, knowing Louis won't ever know how happy he is to have the older boy back in his home.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Louis blinks sleepily and nuzzles deeper into the warmth in his side. His arm squeezes something taught and soft at the same time. His head aches with the knowledge that he's not fully rested, so why is he resurfacing from his slumber?

"Lou, c'mon, we've got to get upstairs. My back is aching."

Louis' eyes jolt open as he places the owner of the voice to the body he is snuggling with.

He pulls away quickly and rubs his eyes, dark circles unwavering. "Sorry, H, didn't mean to fall asleep on you...what time 'izit?"

Harry smiles and stretches, glancing over to the giant clock on the wall. "It's just gone one. How bout we make our way upstairs?"

Louis swallows and nods, pulling the sleeves of his jumper over his curled hands.

Louis scoots to the edge of the couch and watches Harry as he stands to stretch some more, before turning off the telly with the remote.

"You alright?" Harry questions when he sees Louis staring off into space.

Louis nods and stands, balling his sweater paws and crossing them over his chest. He follows Harry through the living room and to the stairs.

His eyes focus on the heels of Harry's feet as they ascend the stairs. When they reach the top, Harry lifts his arm and lets it rest on Louis' shoulders.

"Will you be alright tonight?" Harry whispers, tilting his head so he can see all of Louis' face.

Louis tries to avoid Harry's intense stare, instead choosing to focus on the black and white photo of a guitar just behind Harry's head.

"Lou, look at me." Harry demands, raising his hand to Louis' stubbled chin and grasping it.

His blue eyes dart around as he continues to stubbornly look at anything but those green orbs.

"Louis."

The older man feels his resolve break as he blinks into focus Harry's face. His own eyes fill with salty tears and soon they begin to tip over his lashes and dribbles down his cheeks.

"Oh, Lou..." Harry starts, deciding to pull the shorter man into his arms for a hug. "Shhhh, it's going to be alright. It sucks right now, and it will suck for a while," he pauses again, pulling back to hunch down a bit so the two men are eye to eye, "but, eventually it will hurt less."

"I just don't get it... he fucking t-takes everyone from me! Me grandpa, me dad, me b-birth father... me mum, who's next? Me sis? You?! Nothing ever works out for me, they either fuck off or end up dying!" Louis finishes a little hysterical, and begins to gasp for air, fighting against the taller man's grasp.

Harry pulls him in tight and squeezes, murmuring soft hushing noises as he waits for Louis to breathe again.

When that doesn't happen, he lifts the smaller man into his arms and carries him to the guest room he had planned on having Louis stay in. His long legs get him there quickly and he sets Louis down on the bed, smiling sadly when the blue eyed singer scrambles to remain in his arms.

"Lou, love, I'm going to get you the medicine that the doctors gave you for anxiety. And the sleeping pills. You need rest, it's right here on the nightstand." Harry tries explaining but knows not much is getting through to Louis in his panicked state of mind.

He fights to be released from Louis' strong and stubborn grip. Louis tightens his grip and begs, "No! No meds, I can... I don't need it. J-just give m-me a second."

Harry stops and watches as Louis takes several deep breathes, wiping furiously as his blue eyes as he tries to stop he onslaught of tears. Failing to regain control of his emotions he begins to huff impatiently, anger rising as the moments tick by.

When Louis begins reaching up for his hair, pulling on it harshly, and grabbing around his neck, nails biting the thin skin there, Harry steps in.

  
"Baby, baby, stop. You're hurting yourself. I can't let you do that." Harry grabs for Louis' hands and takes them in his own, intertwining their fingers.

Tears burn Louis' eyes, nose running and chest heaving. He meets Harry's eyes, green bright and vibrant with conviction. "I just fucking hate this feeling." He whispers, curling into Harry's shoulders.

Harry sighs, letting Louis cry into his body. After letting Louis release everything within him, and he's just down to a few sniffles, Harry suggests, "Lets get you in bed. You're exhausted."

Louis frowns, but lets Harry help him into bed. Harry asks, "Do you want to take off the jumper, Lou?"

The older boy silently shakes his head, pulling the sleeves over his fists and raising his shoulders to snuggle against the collar.

"Okay, lay down then. Rest. I'll be just down the hall if you need me." Harry gently explains, running his fingers through Louis' fringe.

Louis brings his bottom lip into his mouth and gnaws on it, hesitation and an unsettling feeling running through his body. He nods his head and sinks deeper under the covers, his toes wiggling as he watches Harry stand and walk to the door.

"You want this open or closed, Lou?" Harry gives Louis the option, hand on the doorknob waiting for his answer.

"Y-you can close it. Thanks Haz, for everything." Louis calls, watching as the tall man flicks the light switch off, sending the room into darkness.

Harry stands in the doorway, the hallway light framing his silhouette, "Anything for you, Lou."

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Harry rolls over, snuggling deeper into his soft downy comforter. He swipes at his nose, breathing deeply as he tries to stay under the spell of slumber.

One of his eyes opens quickly when he hears an odd noise. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and reaches out to turn on his bedside lamp.

He jumps when he turns to see Louis standing at the end of his bed. Louis has both hands balled up over his mouth, eyes wet and red, hair shucked all over the place as if the man had not slept a wink.

"Louis?" Harry rasps out, wiping at his eyes and sitting up in the bed. "Louis? Are you alright?"

Louis stays silent, hands grasping over his own mouth, only shaking his head to signal, 'no'.

"How can I help, what do you need?" Harry asks, pushing down the comforter and crawling to the end of his bed. He sits on his heals and reaches out for Louis, trying to pull away the other man's clenched fists.

Louis shakes his head again and squeezes his eyes shut. Harry whispers, "Baby, let me help you."

Louis breaks down and lets his hands lower into Harry's own. The sobs he was so valiantly trying to keep within are let go, weighing heavily on Harry's own heart.

"Oh, love, come here." Harry says, pulling the standing boy into his arms. Louis falls against Harry and pulls the two of them onto the bed horizontally.

"Ha-ha-harry, 'm sorry, I j-j-just couldn't sleep. C-couldn't g-get the image of me mum sick and in that bed out of me head!" Louis babbled, digging his fingers into Harry's sides as he clutched the younger boy.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I told you to come get me if you needed me, I honestly don't mind. I wish I could make it better for you quicker, love. Shhh, it's okay, it's alright, let it all out baby." Harry rubbed his hands up and down the smaller man's back.

Green eyes focus on the shuddering shoulders as they begin to slow. He keeps whispering soft reassurances as the breathing gets deeper. When Harry reaches for the light to turn it off, Louis stirs. A whimper escapes him as he clings to his safety net, Harry's arms quickly flicking the lights switch and moving back to hold tight onto Louis.

"Shhh, it's okay. I've got you. You'll be okay, you are so, so strong, love." Harry murmurs, pressing small kisses on the crown of Louis' head as the smaller boy digs himself deeper into Harry's warmth. 


End file.
